New study finds Highest Judiciary body using Foreign Alien language; Boiling Oil Devabasha Promotion funds hiked by 5600%

TSV June-July 2026 Vol.01 Issue.02

On July 14, the Supreme Court heard petitions challenging the rigid implementation of the CBSE’s new 3-language formula mandates. During the proceedings, CBSE lawyers presented pristine Sanskrit legal papers rightly stating that English is a foreign language and 42 million kids can just learn English instead of French and German while kids can learn Sanskrit and Hindi instead of French and German, along their regional mother tongue. While the 42 million students under CBSE waits to place their language textbook purchase, the Education Ministry already putting up a brave fight against the Exam Mafia and NEET Leaks has gratuitous time to uphold the sacred 2-Language Formula of Bharat

Finally we are treating students in the way they should utilise their education, not as capable exam-worthy candidates who are aided by a smooth examination process under the Nation’s Knowledge/Education Ministry, but as linguistic chess pieces we can chug with slokhas and vande-matarams while they fail that it interview in Bangalore for an American company.

Like cows munching milching on green grass, we will make these school kids munch on Hindi textbooks and Sanskrit slokhas, finally reversing the 3000-year discrimination policy of barring Bahujans from Sanskrit and actually doing affirmative action and historical reparations in the form of Duolingo lessons in Sanskrit; since we used to pour boiling oil down the ears of these Bahujans. For communities that just got access to writing and reading less than 300 years ago after a 3000-year gap, they sure are catching on quick. Please slow down this process people. 

Why should we prepare the Bharatiya child and help him or her be capable of navigating an interconnected global village while enabling communication and knowledge transmission using a language not NATIVE to India, acting as if the entire country runs on a 75-year old 2000 page paper document written in English! How ridiculous. Everyone knows the Manuvadi Indian Constitution is written in Sanskrit. This is what happens when you spend all your time in the fields doing backbreaking work for generations instead of proactively enrolling at your local gurukul. 

India might have the world’s second largest population of English speakers at 130 million people. Finally we can deport the foreign Anglo-Indians still residing on our shores and send them back to England with their Foreign English mother tongues. Maybe we’ll also ship the entire functioning of the Judiciary, Postal, Railways and Science to London as well, since they all use English as their working language.

We must get over the Maulacayian Colonial Macaulian Hangover and be ashamed of a tongue that arrived with colonisers, that we may have taken over later with our prolific set of South Asian Indian English Authors regularly winning western Literary prizes but still! Only by understanding that English is an Alien Foreign Poisonous tongue can we sacrifice our kids future ability to communicate with the world and stop the Brain Drain taking all our talented youth out of the country.  

Students in CBSE schools, 6 lakhs of whom are learning French and 1.5 who are learning German, must now be forced to learn a Sacred Dead Boiling-Oil Devabhasha. We all know that it is important to safeguard regional languages and heritage. Similarly, linguistic policies must be a one-size-fits all approach to cram Hindi onto Indian school kids as a National Language while encouraging the Boiling-Oil Devabhasha through the backdoor. Finally the language that Shudras were banned from reading and had oil poured into their ears can now be taught in every government primary school from Kanyakumari to Chennai, Ladakh to Punjab, Nagaland to Arunachal Pradesh and Israel to Guyana.

That is why the RSS is not registered. Because all the registration forms are in English and we need to let Hindu Rashtra make all laws in Sanskrit so Our Glorious Hindutva Leaders who poured boiling oil down the ears of Shudras/Dalits and Adivasis can finally fill out their registration forms in the True National Language of Bharat: Sanskrit. Even NASA uses that language for its computers like UNESCO said so we can facilitate Indo-American Supercomputer Data Centers.

All hail the 3-Language-Formula where Hindu Rashtra will finally get redemption that their Glorious Sanskrit is used by NASA because we need Western Validation for Bharatiya Pride. Now we can finally cut off the tongues of those who speak the Foreign, Evil, Colonial Tongue and instead of pouring boiling oil to preserve the sanctity of the written word – we can just drop French school lessons to pronounce baguette and instead stack them up with retired pujari Sanskrit teachers who still hold the sacred virus of corporal punishment for school kids.

If anyone doubts our glorious CBSE, the agency in charge of the future trajectory of 42 million schoolkids, they are sorely mistaken. CBSE is on a war footing to ensure that even if only 47% of schools have a third language teacher, they will hire postgrad students in the country where 40% of graduate youth are unemployed along with other Savarna aunties teaching Sanskrit. Native Bhartiya Bhashas must be prioritized over Foreign European tongues.

If you think about it, one might tell you that the whole 3-Formula scheme and Sanskrit promotion is a way, like EWS reservation, to provide employment opportunities for Brahmins and Postgrad Savarna youth who are more likely to learn Sanskrit because their Forefathers were the ones pouring Boiling Oil down the ears of Shudra. Cut off that English language link for the bahujans to leave this cursed subcontinent and do not let them get out and tell the world how India has descended into Brahmanical Cow Fascism. If no one speaks English, the Indian State will have less international scrutiny. Let’s try to keep it that way.

Let’s not get started on the whole North-South, Aryan-Dravidian, Hindi-Tamil-Malayalam-Telugu thing. Handicapping kids to communicate in a common link language whether in Delhi, Hyderabad, Mumbai, Kochi, Ranchi, Lucknow, Bhopal, Vizag or Dhaka will definitely aid in National Cohesion and Societal Integration. Its not like the European Union works in English even though Britain brexitted outta the EU!

We must use every opportunity to sacrifice the future careers of our nation’s children to keep alive the linguistic chauvinism of Indian uncles who can pat themselves on the back when Trump tweets in Sanskrit. By the CBSE’s immaculate “Non-Bharata Basha” logic, we must now officially declare Arunachal Pradesh, Nagaland, Meghalaya, Sikkim, Tripura, Goa, and half of the South as foreign, non-native, un-Bharatiya territories, seeing as their own state governments who formally recognize this “alien” tongue as an official administrative language. 

So what if In India, English operates as the sole official language in Arunachal Pradesh and Nagaland, while functioning as a primary or joint official language alongside Khasi and Garo in Meghalaya; Mizo and Hindi in Mizoram; Konkani and Marathi in Goa; Bengali and Kokborok in Tripura; and Nepali, Sikkimese, Lepcha, and several other regional languages in Sikkim; holding additional or co-official status alongside Telugu in Andhra Pradesh, Kannada in Karnataka, Malayalam in Kerala, and Meitei in Manipur and acting across the Union Territories as the primary official language in Chandigarh, and shares joint official status with Hindi in the Andaman and Nicobar Islands; with Hindi, Urdu, and Punjabi in Delhi; with Kashmiri, Dogri, Hindi, and Urdu in Jammu and Kashmir; and with Hindi, Urdu, Bhoti, and Purgi in Ladakh; while serving as a co-official language alongside Malayalam in Lakshadweep and holds official status alongside Tamil, French, Telugu, and Malayalam in Puducherry. Finally we can cut out this Foreign Illegal Alien Invader Western Colonial Jihadi language from the sacred language tree of the South Asian subcontinent. 

Anyways we have Hindi being the primary official language in Bihar, Chhattisgarh, Haryana, Himachal Pradesh, Jharkhand, Madhya Pradesh, Rajasthan, Uttar Pradesh, and Uttarakhand; sharing joint official status alongside Gujarati in Gujarat; and holding additional official recognition in states like West Bengal and Mizoram; while acting across the Union Territories, being deeply entrenched as a primary or joint official language in the Andaman and Nicobar Islands, Chandigarh, Dadra and Nagar Haveli and Daman and Diu, Delhi, Ladakh, and Jammu and Kashmir, structurally heavily guarded by central government zoning laws that actively enforce it as the default medium for union-state correspondence.

Even our Boiling-Oil Devabhasha enjoys the ultimate comeback era having been enthusiastically elevated to the status of a second official language by Uttarakhand in 2010 and Himachal Pradesh in 2019, successfully securing $262.97 million / ₹2,532 crore in binding state legislation, government resources, and bureaucratic bandwidth for a language whose entire native-speaking population of roughly 24,821 people could comfortably fit inside a mid-sized cricket stadium with thousands of empty seats to spare.

Did CBSE rush the 3-Language Formula policy from the 2029–30 academic year to the 2026-2027 because they are growing less sure of the outcome for the 2029 General Elections at this rate? Absolutely not. The Devabhasha Resurrection Campaign and this eagerness for the Knowledge Ministry to shift operation languages will definitely not make it hard to print enough textbooks and hire enough teachers for the 22 scheduled languages. Our Dear Hindu Raj is truly acting in its full capacity to overcome the logistical nightmare of coherently managing the fourth most linguistically diverse country in the world, with over 450 living languages and 19,500 different mother tongues. Just narrow it down to 2, already yaar!

So, the highest constitutional body in the land holds a hearing in English to debate whether English could be legally considered an “indigenous Indian language” under the CBSE’s new three-language policy. When an institution has to rely entirely on a language to adjudicate whether that same language legally belongs in the country, maybe its time to hit the restart button and delete our entire history, lest it give second-hand embarrassment to some alien who stumbles on our national archives 3000 years later and unearth our legal proceedings preserved in USB sticks.

While we are debating in English about whether English should be used to debate, we must truly commend the Nation’s Khakhi Shorts organisation and their visionary plan for Bharat. Aware that they will be blown to bits in a debate in English, our Glorious Celibate Leaders have brought the ball to their court by telling 130 million Indians, the Judiciary, the international community and Indian school kids who just want to know their mother tongue and a language that will help them out of their state or country: that of course it’s better that these kids cram two extra school textbooks into their heavy bags. Make sure the 850 gram Hindi textbook and the 500g Sanskrit textbook and the 250 g English textbook weighs down till the bag gets too heavy to take to school. Not like our non-egg Mid-Day-Meal programmes can nourish their fragile Bahujan bones, anyways. This is the way it is written in the Law of Manu and that is our constitution now after all. 

So good riddance in pushing out English teachers the whole school has a crush on, French teachers with anger management issues and German teachers who don’t apologise for Hitler enough. Bring in the Sanskrit slokhas and the Hindi gendering of every word type of grammar to finally linguistically resurrect our Hindu Rashtra and make us the Viswaguru of the world until the International Space Station projects flashing Neon-Orange Sanskrit slokhas onto Earth.